Are you scaring women away on online dating sites?
By James Preece
If you are a man currently using online dating sites, then you are going to be messaging a lot of women. You want to make sure everything you say is going to get them interested and keen to meet you. However, not all men are getting this right and are doing themselves (and the reputation of men as a whole!) a lot of damage.
According to a recent study, 42% of female online daters revealed they had been messaged by men in a manner that made them feel very uncomfortable. That’s a very scary statistic.
If you are doing one of these things then you need to STOP immediately.
You want your first impression to be a good one, so think long and hard about what you want to say. If it’s in any way inappropriate, then delete it and start again. You need to sound like a trustworthy, genuine, friendly guy who treats women with respect.
So this is NOT the time to make rude comments or sarcastic jokes. Don’t make references to creepy things like massages or how attractive you find her. Definitely don’t talk about your love of high heels or anything remotely weird.
Pay attention to your photos, too. If you look sinister or threatening then nobody will ever write back to you, no matter what you write.
Getting Sexual Too Soon
Women can be turned off very quickly if you make sexual comments without even meeting them. They want to feel appreciated, not as a turn on for a pervert! Everything you write should be as polite and respectful as possible so you have to watch your language and what you say.
This can include any mention of cuddling, kissing or anything stronger. Even if the girl seems like she is playing along, your chance of actually meeting get less and less.
Copying and Pasting
This is a basic error that many men make as they find online dating time consuming. The trouble is that it can make women feel comfortable as they know you are sending the same message out to everyone else. This doesn’t help them feel special at all.
Asking Them Out Too Soon
When you are getting to know someone, the process can take a little time. You’d be surprised how many people contact ladies with date suggestions in an opening message. Some even take it further and include an email address or phone number. Do they really believe that they will get inundated with calls? This just comes across as desperate. Send a few messages back and forth first to build rapport and trust before you ask them out.
Contacting them off the Site
It’s pretty obvious that you should only communicate on the site until she is ready to give you her mobile number or email address. So I find it odd that as soon as some men find out a surname, they immediately try to add them on Facebook. Or even worse, I’ve heard of men turning up at the girl’s place of work. This is even before the first date.
If that’s you, I want you to consider how this might make the other person feel. It’s not only extremely disturbing but it can be borderline stalking.
Hopefully now you’ve read this article, you won’t make the same mistakes.
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About James Preece