How to Completely Fail at Online Dating
By James Preece
As an Online Dating Coach, I’ve helped 1000s of singles find love online. Many for these were really struggling to do it on their own and couldn’t see where they were going wrong. Luckily, I’ve been doing this for a very long time and I see people make the same common mistakes over and over again.
I’m going to tell you how some people completely fail at online dating, so you can avoid making the same mistakes and save yourself a lot of time, money and energy!
Choose the Worst Photo You Have
The easiest way to blow your chances online is to have a terrible photo or even better – have no photo at all. Your photo is the first thing that a potential match will see, so go for one that makes you look mean, moody and miserable, and keep it out of focus. You will get bonus points if you can crop it, so part of your head it missing and you should definitely try obscuring your face by wearing a hat or sunglasses for the complete effect.
Don’t fill Out your Profile
The less you write then the more likely the person reading it will give up and move on the next profile. Therefore, don’t write anything remotely interesting or ask any questions to get a conversation started. Don’t try and sell yourself and stand out from the crowd and leave as many sections blank as possible. Nobody really cares about where you’ve been on holiday or what book you are reading…do they?
Copy and Paste your Messages
Online Dating can take up a lot of time, and you want to make sure to cut corners and copy and paste the same boring message to absolutely everyone. Write as little possible and avoid telling them why you would be a good match. A simple "Hi" and possibly a smiley will do and you should absolutely email hundreds of people in quick succession, meaning you can fail over and over again! If you want to save even more time, don’t sent any messages at all, and you will be failing before you even begin.
Make People Wait Ages for a Reply
Treat them mean, keep them keen, eh? You know you do not want to sound too interested too quickly, hence you make them wait a few days before you get back to them, which is the best way to appear cool and mysterious. If you don’t reply they will automatically assume you are not interested and move on someone else, so you will never have to get to carry on conversation again.
Give up After a Week
The very best way to fail completely at online dating is to abandon your efforts as soon as possible. Don’t be proactive, don’t put any effort in and whatever you do don’t talk anyone you are attracted to. Forget about signing in and go and watch your favorite television shows instead. All those people who might have been interested in you are just going have to contact someone else.
I really hope you’ve found these jokey tips useful. Perhaps you have been doing some of these yourself unintentionally and now know what to do instead. If you’d like some more advice and dating ideas, then please check out our articles.
About James Preece
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