How to Spot If They Are Into You


ValentinesBy James Preece

Many people often tell me that they have a real problem when it comes to dating. They think all goes well, the conversation flows but then sadly never hear from them again. They are confused but they don’t have a clue about whether the other person fancies them or is just being friendly.

The good news is that everyone has their own unique "tells" which are giveaway indications they have little control over. So here are my top dating expert tips for making sure you read the signals, to guarantee you know if they are interested or not.

It’s in the Eyes

Lots of eye contact is always fantastic, but it is, in fact, the area around the eyes, nose and mouth that’s the most important if you want to tell if someone is interested in you. This is known as the Flirting Triangle and if they keep glancing in that area it’s a good indication they would love to kiss you.

Eye contact

Don’t Miss Them

There are some really subtle signs that indicate whether a person likes you, however, you will have to be quick in order to spot them. The most useful of these signs is the eyebrow flash, which means that if someone is attracted to the person they are looking at, they’ll quickly raise their eyebrows. It’s so fast – only about a tenth of a second – and yet it’s something they have no control over, and some people do this with their shoulders as well.

It's All In their Eyes

When things are going well and you like the person you are looking at, your heart rate will speed up, which is normally easy to recognize. Hence, the great news is that you can simply look at their eyes and if you see that they are blinking much more than normally, they definitely like you. Ideally, you want to see about ten blinks a minute to be sure.

Mind the Gap

Each of us has our own sense of body space and an imaginary bubble around us that we protect fiercely, and it is only when we trust someone that we allow them to get just that little bit closer. Thus the lesser the physical distance between you and your date, the more likely they are comfortable with you. You can test this by doing things like sitting next to them rather than opposite. The closer you are then the more intimate you can become, allowing flirty gestures like arm touching and ultimately hand holding.

Pointing the Way

Another indicator to whether someone likes you and enjoys your company is the direction to which their feet are pointing. If their body is facing you, but the feet are in the opposite direction, they probably want to make an exit. If they are, on the other hand, completely centered on you then they are clearly much more likely to be enjoying your company. It’s not just the feet – you can see similar clues by looking at their hands and fingers, too. If they are sat down, try and see if they point at you, themselves or over by the door.

Look for a Chain

It’s not quite as simple as looking for just one signal and then knowing whether they like you or not, and that's because different people act in their own different ways and have their own unique habits. Instead, what you should be looking for is a chain of three to five indicators. That is undoubtedly the best way to be certain!

Do remember that even if the signs aren’t there immediately, you can still turn things round by deepening your rapport. There are some great tips in our advice section that you should make sure to read to boost your chances.

About James Preece

James Preece is the Dating Guru. As the UK's leading Dating Expert and Dating Coach he is a consultant for many dating sites and is involved in a wide variety of different areas, such as personal dating coaching, Online Dating, speed dating and matchmaking. His online dating guide "I Will Make You Click" is an Amazon best seller, reaching number one on the relationships category. He is a regularly featured in top UK and international media: such as the Independent, Cosmopolitan, FHM, and Men’s Health, amongst many more. Learn more here.


Advertising Disclosure

This site is a free online resource that strives to offer helpful content and comparison features to its visitors. Please be advised that the operator of this site accepts advertising compensation from companies that appear on the site, and such compensation impacts the location and order in which the companies (and/or their products) are presented, and in some cases may also impact the rating that is assigned to them. To the extent that ratings appear on this site, such rating is determined by our subjective opinion and based on a methodology that aggregates our analysis of brand market share and reputation, each brand's conversion rates, compensation paid to us and general consumer interest. Company listings on this page DO NOT imply endorsement. Except as expressly set forth in our Terms of Use, all representations and warranties regarding the information presented on this page are disclaimed. The information, including pricing, which appears on this site is subject to change at any time.

Must Reads

Top 5 Online Dating Sites