How to Use Your Phone to Get More Dates


Using your phone before a dateBy James Preece

In an age of modern technology, almost everyone carries a mobile phone around with them.This means it’s incredibly easy to get hold of people and it’s perfect as a dating tool. Not only can you access the main online sites and apps from your phone, but you can text and instant message potential partners at any time of day or night.

Oddly, I’ve noticed that hardly anyone uses the phone for its main purpose anymore – talking to one another. It’s much easier just to type away than have to speak directly. I think this is a very sad situation as sooner or hearing each other’s voices is one of the best ways of increasing chemistry before and after a date.

You don’t need to be afraid to speak but some people are uncomfortable doing it. So I’ve put together some of my best relationship expert tips to help you improve your telephone skills!

Using your phone to get more dates


Always Talk When You Can

Regular phone conversations will dramatically increase rapport in your relationships. You don’t get time to come up with clever replies as you do online, so you’ll find trust is built much quicker. If you give them a call rather than wait for a text you’ll get an instant answer too so it’s perfect for asking someone out on a date. If you’ve talked before meeting then there is much less chance of them cancelling on you. The more you talk to different people on the phone then the easier it will become.

Breathe a Little

If you are nervous about calling someone, take some long slow deep breaths first. This will slow down your heart rate and therefore your speech. A useful trick is to call a friend or family member for a quick chat first. This calms you down and get you in “conversation mode” rather than launching straight in with a stranger.

Record Your Voice

I don’t know many people who like to hear their own voice, but recording yourself can be the best way to improve the way you sound. Most phones have a recorder on them so you say a few lines and play them back. I promise you’ll sound better than you think. If you don’t then you can work on sounding even better.

Check Your Answerphone

Do you have a clear, upbeat answerphone message? If not then you need to record one immediately. Otherwise you may find yourself getting rejected before you’ve even exchanged a word. You want to sound friendly, invite them to leave a message and promise you’ll get back to them as soon as you can.

Copy Your Heroes

Can you think of a celebrity who speaks in the way you would like to? Do they command attention or have an incredibly sexy voice? If so, listen to them carefully and then try and model what they do. You don’t have to do an impression, just try and adapt your voice to fit their style. This might mean speaking a bit deeper, huskier or emphasizing words more clearly. If it works for them there is no reason why it can’t do the same for you.

Keep it Short

Don’t fall into the trap of having phone marathons before your first date. If you do then you run the risk of running out of things to say. Save the long conversations for when you meet face to face. Short calls are great to make sure you keep in regular contact each day and that you are both constantly thinking about each other.

Remember, most of your competition will be too scared to speak and will stick to texting. If you call them you’ll be seen as someone confident and not afraid to take the bull by the horns.

If you want some advice about how to make sure you have a phonebook full of potential dates, check out the articles on our website.

About James Preece

James Preece is the Dating Guru. As the UK's leading Dating Expert and Dating Coach he is a consultant for many dating sites and is involved in a wide variety of different areas, such as personal dating coaching, Online Dating, speed dating and matchmaking. His online dating guide "I Will Make You Click" is an Amazon best seller, reaching number one on the relationships category. He is a regularly featured in top UK and international media: such as the Independent, Cosmopolitan, FHM, and Men’s Health, amongst many more. Learn more here.


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