The Ashley Madison Effect: Open Relationships & Online Dating
Let’s talk about open relationships. It’s time to speak, well, openly about it.
Whether you were personally affected by the Ashley Madison hack or not, the topic of infidelity has been on everyone’s lips following the scandal.
A Brave New World?
If you’ve been out of the country, or living under a rock for the past couple of weeks, you’ll need a quick update. Hackers have stolen and released over 32 million email addresses and their corresponding information from members of popular extramarital affairs website Ashley Madison. The knock on effect is a massive worry for individuals in terms of their financial data and personal security, but it’s also launched a conversation in many households, on the topic of open relationships.
Helen Croydon, writing for the New Republic commented recently that “The current model of lifelong, cohabiting monogamous partnership has never been such an outdated ideal.” Whether you agree with this view or not, many couples who value honesty and openness in their relationships are choosing to move away from infidelity and explore other options instead.
If that’s true for you and your partner, you might think there’s no place for you in the world of online dating. We’re here to tell you that you couldn’t be more wrong.
Follow our top tips to get the best out of the fun, flirtatious side of online dating and open relationships online.
Hundreds Of Sites For Fun Dating Experiences
There are literally hundreds of online dating websites out there for hookups and online fun. And only you and your partner know what will work for you. Do you want to keep the extra-marital benefits purely online? If so, you could choose a website with live models or video upload capabilities like Be2 This gay dating website has plenty of online fun to be had before you even get in touch with other members, allowing you to test the waters of an open relationship.
In today’s more independent and liberal society, introducing other people into your sex life can be a valid way to express yourselves and can even help to bring you closer as a couple. In fact, breaking the so-called ‘rules’ of monogamy can be exciting in and of itself. Moira Weigel comments “It is not that people do stupid things for sex despite the risk. It is that risk itself is sexy. The thrill of knowingly betraying a cherished convention”.
If you and your partner want to search and chat together, websites such as BeNaughty allow you to chat with more than one member at a time. This is also a great option if you are looking for some threeway fun, or to introduce other people into a flirtation or dirty talk. You can also search for a website like AdultFriendFinder which actually lets you sign up as a couple to begin with.
Establish Some Ground Rules
This is probably the most important factor in having a successful open relationship. Make sure you both know exactly what the ‘rules’ are. Most couples agree that it’s best not to include mutual friends in your sexcapades, making the hundreds of thousands of unknown matches you find on dating websites such as Match a perfect pool to start from.
Some couples may decide that their family home is off-limits, or that extracurricular activities are only allowed when one of you is out of town. Maybe you are allowed same-sex partners only. The most important thing is that you work out the best ground rules for you, and are both comfortable to speak up if you change your minds at any time.
One fun idea could be to keep a dating diary to compare your experiences with each other, helping you make the journey a shared one. Some online dating websites such as Dating Agency have this feature built in.
As with any online dating journey, make sure you are taking any and all safety precautions necessary before you get in too deep. We recommend taking it slow when you first get to know other members of any website, perhaps moving from instant chat, to audio and video chat, before making a first meeting offline. Websites such as Zoosk offer all communication features across all devices, making it easy to chat and date on the go.
When you are ready to meet in person, always make sure that someone knows where you’re going to be, and always take your own transportation. It goes without saying that if your perfect open relationship involves more than dinner and a movie, make sure to practice safe sex too.
Over 32 million people signed up to Ashley Madison because in one way or another, they were curious about a lifestyle which didn’t include monogamy at its core. With the help of some of the best online dating websites out there, open relationships are an honest and exciting way to explore this with your partner.
Can’t decide between all the great choices listed above? Why make yourself? Read our article to find out why you should give more than one dating website a try.
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