The Ghost Dating Phenomena: Why Did They Really Stopped Calling You


Ghost DatingBy James Preece

You’ve talked to someone for a while and had the most amazing date ever. You might even have had several meetings and you’re convinced you are made for each other. They tell you all sorts of wonderful things about what a good match you are and how lucky you are. You’re texting each other all the time and you are excited about what the future might hold. You might be picturing what your children will look like or what colour you’ll decorate the living room when you move in together.

However….all of a sudden, completely unexpectedly, they stop contacting you. You’ll never hear from them again and they disappear from your life forever, as quickly as they appeared. No matter how many times you call or text them, you never hear back.

As a Dating Expert, there’s one big dating issue that I see cropping up over and over again. It’s something that happens to everyone and is perhaps the biggest unexplained mystery of all.

Ghost Dating

I named this phenomena “Ghost Dating". That’s because they vanish like a puff of smoke and you are always left wondering what happened. Did they meet someone else? Get back with an ex? Drop down dead? Get abducted by aliens? All these thoughts rush through your head as you cling to the hope that they are just really busy.

Why did they disappear?

There is only one simple reason. They changed their mind about you and decided they didn’t want to see you again.

So rather than tell you the truth and have to explain themselves, they took the easy way out and cut off all contact. They hope you’ll get the message soon enough when they don’t reply. In their heads, this is better than hurting your feelings and means there won’t be any arguments.

It's not a good situation to be in

I know how incredibly confusing and frustrating this can be. You never get closure and all your hope and dreams are left in ruins. To make things worse, you’ll never know if you did something wrong or why they didn’t feel you were suited. If you don’t have answers then you can’t improve or do things differently the next time. It’s really not a good situation to be in.

Be fair and honest

If you are the one doing the disappearing act, please have a good think about what you might be doing to the other person. Ignoring them might seem the kindest, most painless thing to do but it’s just a coward’s way out. A simple “thanks but no thanks" text is a much more respectful way of breaking things off.

My advice is that if someone disappears on you, for whatever reason, then they just simply weren’t the right match for you. It’s actually FANTASTIC that they’ve gone as it means they aren’t leading you on and you are free to meet better people instead. When you do meet someone that you truly click with, they will stay in your life forever. Trust me… you will meet someone sooner than you probably realise! All it takes is a little action to keep things moving.

If you’d like some help getting better quality matches, then you need to check out our guide to the very best online dating sites.


About James Preece

James Preece is the Dating Guru. As the UK's leading Dating Expert and Dating Coach he is a consultant for many dating sites and is involved in a wide variety of different areas, such as personal dating coaching, Online Dating, speed dating and matchmaking. His online dating guide "I Will Make You Click" is an Amazon best seller, reaching number one on the relationships category. He is a regularly featured in top UK and international media: such as the Independent, Cosmopolitan, FHM, and Men’s Health, amongst many more. Learn more here.


Advertising Disclosure

This site is a free online resource that strives to offer helpful content and comparison features to its visitors. Please be advised that the operator of this site accepts advertising compensation from companies that appear on the site, and such compensation impacts the location and order in which the companies (and/or their products) are presented, and in some cases may also impact the rating that is assigned to them. To the extent that ratings appear on this site, such rating is determined by our subjective opinion and based on a methodology that aggregates our analysis of brand market share and reputation, each brand's conversion rates, compensation paid to us and general consumer interest. Company listings on this page DO NOT imply endorsement. Except as expressly set forth in our Terms of Use, all representations and warranties regarding the information presented on this page are disclaimed. The information, including pricing, which appears on this site is subject to change at any time.

Must Reads

Top 5 Online Dating Sites