Matchmakers Reveal their Top 6 Secrets for Better Dating
Sometimes it can feel like we need all the help we can get navigating the dating world. It’s no wonder exclusive matchmakers can command hefty salaries for their intuitive powers, solid wisdom, and willingness to give their clients the honest truth - no matter how painful it might be.
Sometimes we have to forget what we want to remember what we deserve.
There's no person out there who doesn't need a little help navigating the dating world.
It’s no wonder exclusive matchmakers can command hefty salaries for their intuitive powers, solid wisdom, and willingness to give their clients the honest truth - no matter how painful it might be.
So, we’ve rounded up some of the most repeated dating advice from the best matchmakers to help you up your dating game - start taking notes!
1. Always abide by the two-date rule
Amy Andersen, founder of Linx Dating, tells her clients that unless a date goes horribly wrong, they must go on at least a second date.
First dates are not always going to be packed with fireworks. The difficulty here is to act against your instincts and not automatically dismiss the guys who you don’t have an instant spark with.
Andersen’s goal is to help clients slow down and not always look for the “BBD - bigger, better deal.” With so many options at your fingertips, it becomes very easy to write people off.
Sometimes you just need time for things to develop, and one more date is definitely not too much to ask.
If you’re still not feeling it after date number two, you’ve got permission to move on!
You might be able to rattle off a long list of everything you’re looking for in an ideal partner, but that list might also be the reason why you’ve been unlucky in love.
As Marisa Reisel (matchmaker for Three Day Rule) tells her clients, “It’s not bad to have a sense of what’s really important to you in a relationship. But you can’t control and anticipate everything that might unexpectedly work for you… Being open and positive is the best strategy for having a fantastic time dating.”
It’s good to have an idea of what you want in a partner. But don’t let that idea be so rigid that you pass on the one who might be unexpectedly perfect.
3. Put yourself in the best place to meet people
For those who can’t afford the services of the Millionaire Matchmaker Patti Stanger, she offers one bit of crucial advice - “Sign up for at least three dating sites!”
Why put all your eggs in one basket when there are so many different dating pools out there to explore?
Get your browsing fix by heading to a site which gives you control over the matching, like Zoosk. As you swipe, the matching technology becomes more attuned to your preferences, offering better and better matches.
Or if you’re less into swiping try Match. You get the advantage of being on a dating site that has big name recognition, plus their “stir” events provide a great opportunity to meet singles offline in a casual setting (usually a bar or restaurant) where you know everyone there is single and looking.
Please don’t wait for someone else to walk into your life and make you happy - that’s one hundred percent on you. When you focus on being positive, cheerful, and kind, this is exactly the kind of person you’re going to unknowingly attract into your life.
Dating coach Karenna Alexander warns her clients that a partner can add to existing happiness, but they cannot complete you.
"Be the best you can be so you attract the best. Too many people are trying to fill voids in themselves by looking for a partner who has the quality they lack,” she says. “This may work on a surface level but it doesn't work on a deeper level."
5. Give yourself permission to move on
So many of us are still hung up on someone - either an ex you went out with for years who broke your heart, or some loser who you went on a few dates with and disappeared off the face of the planet. Neither of these people are thinking about you - so quit thinking about them, and give yourself permission to move on right now.
“We have a tendency to compare people we meet to the ex files, and in order to find someone great, you need to quit this self sabotaging behavior,” says Susan Trombetti, CEO of Exclusive Matchmaking. “You placed this person who did you wrong, or never gave you a chance on a pedestal and they don’t deserve to be there.”
You’ll only be able to meet the right person when your heart and mind are ready.
6. Don’t be afraid of failure!
All of the world’s successful people have failed at one point or another, and it’s not something they shy away from because they know that’s the only way to learn and ultimately reach success.
"Going on bad dates means you are THAT much closer to finding someone. If you don't try, you can't find love!" says Stefanie Safran, matchmaker at Stef and the City.
You might have some terrible dates, but it’ll only make you appreciate the AMAZING ones that bit more!
Ready to take these tips to the online dating arena? Give Zoosk a try. It's smart matching and ease of use just might be the key to making online dating work for you.